Xiaoli, married and now in her forties, has an eight-year-old son. I went to her house to see her, because she had breast cancer and doctors had diagnosed it as in the last stage. I find Xiaoli lying in bed, bald and puffy-faced because of the physical treatments. Her eyes expressed both a sense of injustice and of fear.

Eight years ago when she first got cancer, a doctor mistook it to be a benign tumor. Only during surgery was the mistake discovered! The doctors transferred her to the specialist and after three months she had another surgery. Less than two years later, the cancer cells were again discovered and she had another surgery. In and out of the hospitals, she underwent surgery and received electrotherapy. Last January, her doctor said the cancer had spread up to her brain, and into her lungs and legs. It had become critical and incurable. Xiaoli chose to return home to rest. She lay in a room for several months; her legs did not function well if she tried to walk. Her mother and two ladies working for the City took care of her.

Xiaoli's mother, Gwo Jau who has come to Gold Buddha Monastery for years, has cultivated reciting Amitabha Buddha's name and practiced meditation for decades. Gwo Jau used to urge her daughter to recite the Buddha's name, and not to pursue worldly things because they are nothing but false. When did Xiaoli finally listen to her?

After eight years of sickness, on the verge of losing her life, finally Xiaoli experienced deep regret and sighed, "In order to enjoy life, I have created too many offenses. I ignored words of wisdom and have always been searching outside. That has brought me a life filled with suffering; only in one instance did I experience any happiness. I don't want anything now! I am willing to give all my belongings to whoever wants them. I don't want anything now!" Having made this discovery at such a deep level, she clearly saw that she was wasting a precious lifetime and that the attainments she had worked for were nothing but impractical and impermant. But where could she go now to return them or ask for an exchange? I urged her to recite Amitabha Buddha's name. She said it was too late anyway!

The Buddhadharma discusses the matter of the mind. Xiaoli learned that cancer comes from the killing karma. The karma exists from causes and conditions; but karma is also distinct from causes and conditions. When it comes to worldly Dharmas, once one goes astray ,one has to turn back quickly. Merely by changing a single thought, by cultivating repentance and by making vows, *[the previous clause requires a person to be the subject] we will find that offenses can be eradicated and blessings can come into being. It need to be too late even for a patient with cancer. The power of the mind is stronger than the karmic force. Before things are finalized, there is always the possibility for change. One need not dispair; there are many examples of cancer patients who recover. So we recited the Great Compassion Mantra, praying to Gwan Yin Bodhisattva with a thousand hands to be her guardian, to eradicate the suffering in her body and mind and to illumine her road ahead.

Being uplifted by the Dharma and oppressed by the prospect of death brought out her inner strength. The next morning, Xiaoli strove to bow down before Amitabha Buddha, reciting a repentance verse and prostrating herself on floor. She cried deeply and made most sincere repentance, vowing that she would never go astray again, praying for another chance. Forgetting the hindrance of her legs, she bowed, bowed and bowed. Then she felt many Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and Dharma Protecting Spirits were surrounding her. Afterwards, her fear, agitation, loneliness were greatly released.

The second time I went to see her, she affirmed that she was relying on the name of Amitabha Buddha to help her cope with the disease. She began a vegetarian diet and spoke Dharma to her sister who came to visit, "The Dharma is inconceivable and can change everything. In my case, being between life and death helped me bring forth a true mind for cultivation. The worst things are selfishness and jealousy. These two cause people to do anything! We have to recognize what is true and not be confused by useless mundane attractions that cause us to seek for enjoyment in things, beautiful forms, lustful sounds, delicacies, and touches to our mouth and body. They are the roots of suffering and the attainment of them is actually transient and ephemeral." Isn't that what the Buddhas and the good and wise advisors are earnest advising us all the time?!